I'm so frustrated right now. Chelsi told me about meeting with LB and DeanC today, and how they told her that she "can't be in a relationship with a girl or act on her homosexual feelings" while at Union. They also brought her up to the board. I'm assuming she's not the exception, and that this new "ruling" (for lack of a better term) applies to the rest of us queer students.
I feel like I've been respectful of Union and now they are definitely not respecting me back. I've understood decisions and discussions from the past, such as Chelsi and I not touching on campus while we were dating. However, now dictating who we are allowed to love and who we aren't? I'm having a very hard time understanding this.
Although I was already seriously considering transferring to another school, this cemented the decision. Now just to figure out where and what. As I research my options I also need to work out within myself how I'm feeling about these recent developments. I'm very resentful, hurt and upset--not a healthy place to be. Even if I don't agree with their decisions or actions, I need to (but not necessarily want to) understand why they are doing this and how I can eliminate this bitterness.
On one hand, I completely understand that orientation is a tricky subject at an Adventist institute and that they can't condone alternative orientations right now. I'm not Adventist or Christian, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't respect Adventists or Adventism--especially if I'm choosing to be on their campus. However, I feel they have gone much too far. It doesn't feel like weighing needs and publics anymore, instead it feels like discrimination. I don't believe any of the parties involved are doing this out of maliciousness, and they must have thought they had a great reasoning for what they're doing. But that doesn't make it okay. It does mean, however, that I have a lot of work to do with my own emotions and feelings toward Union as an administrative institution.
I wish I was on boulder (safely) overlooking a waterfall. I would scream like a million needled words and feelings were thrusting holes into my soul. Because they are. And I don't even care if that was a cheesy (unintentional) rhyme.
/end rant.
i just want you to know you have my support. i get all churned up inside when i think of the fact that an institution i support financially treats people with such bigotry and hatred.
ReplyDeletei won't be pledging for phonathon next year and i will tell them that my reason is their mistreatment of gay and lesbian students.
Your post just broke my heart : ( Keep smiling (and know that there are many, many people to whom "judgmental" is just a word in the dictionary and not a way of life) ... I think you must be very strong!
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