Thursday's Melencholy Quotes

I wish I could believe that "Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." Henry Rollins.

Virigina Casey said that "Tears are like rain. They loosen up our soil so we can grow in different directions." The world is crying today. I hate the grey.

Two conflicting views:

"Loneliness breaks the spirit." Jewish Proverb

"Loneliness is a nest for the thoughts." Kurdish Proverb

Maybe it's our thoughts that break and re-make our spirits.

"The eternal quest of the human being is to shatter his loneliness" Norman Cousins

"The palace leads to fame, the market to fortune, and loneliness to wisdom." Chinese Proverb

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I feel cut off from my summertime Lincoln friends, from my summertime life, and my group of amazing best friends from last semester is not longer together. Sure, most of us are still here but we've gone our separate ways inside of Union's social construction. Dynamics have changed, they've wandered over their ways. I feel like I'm still here, waiting at some metaphorical meeting point for the others to show up. And it's lonely here.

How can I feel so lonely when I know so many people on campus, when I can't walk three steps without someone saying "hello" or blowing me kisses? I have many friends. I have no best friends. I'm not sure how this happened--is it me?

I miss Sierra, but she's always been this way (hot/cold friendship). I'm glad she found someone like Heather, another person she can really connect with and share struggles. But I miss being that person for her.

I miss Zach, communicating without even speaking. Laughing about the nerdiest of things. Always sneaking out and meeting for breaks. But I cannot be that girl for him, so does that mean our friendship must also be negated?

I miss Brennan's humor, but we're very different people with different interests. I understand.

I miss Kelly, who ran away to Colorado and is now planning for a wedding. <3

I miss feeling important t0 a group of people, someone always texting or calling to see what I'm up to. Connecting. Talking about philosophy and religion. Not wasting our minds away with small talk. Creating stories and puzzles with our bodies. Experiencing life like it's something beautiful, and like all beauty should be shared.

Alanna bailed on our plans tonight, but I shouldn't have been surprised. Maybe I just need to share the beauty I find in the world with whomever I come across--with everyone I come across.

"If you keep yourself enclosed, even if you live among thousands of people you will still feel very lonely. However, if you keep yourself open, then even if you are living alone, you will still have a very full life. So open your mind and treat everyone as your intimate, virtuous friend."
Shih-fu Sheng-ye