I've been thinking a lot about G-d recently. God. god. So many questions, questions, questions swirling in my head. Born into an Adventist family, I've grown up (usually) believing in an omniscient, male heavenly power. If I'd had Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist parents I'm sure my religious views would differ drastically. I hate that. I don't want to believe--let myself believe, force myself to believe—something for the sake of ease and tradition.
Like any other person, I've had my moments of doubt concerning The Man Upstairs. Except, my moments have stretched to years. It's healthier, I think—or will be in the long run. I need to understand, know and discover for myself where truth lies. I'm pretty sure I believe in a god, but beyond that I'm not certain. Even that, I'm not entirely certain.
On Friday a friend asked me what questions I had concerning the whole God-and-Bible thing. I've decided to list them as I think of them right now, however incomplete my thoughts are. Some are from notes I scribbled down during church a month or two ago.
In no particular order:
- Is God male, female or androgynous?
-If He can also be referred to as She (as I'm inclined to believe), why not Goddess? Why does that carry distinctly negative connotations in the Christian community (not just why, but why must it?)
-Is gender, or even sex, important to God? (sex=biological aspects; gender=psychological aspects/identity and societal applied values/norms)
-If gender is indeed gone (NKJV Gal. 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."), then how can acting on same-sex desires, cross-dressing or changing sex be wrong?
-For that matter, even if gender is not gone, is any of the above wrong or are the alternative translations (and historical information) to the "anti-gay versus" I've read correct? (for example http://www.godmademegay.com/Letter.htm)
-If it's true that G-d—the G-d that supposedly is love—condemns love between consenting adults or true identity-expression, can I ever learn to love that G-d?
-Why is monogamy "the only way" and non-monogamous situations in the Bible overlooked/discarded as unimportant during study? For that matter, as monogamy seems based in religion, why does mainstream/secular America also adhere to and only accept that norm?
+I'm surprised almost all non-monogamous relationships (such as below) are shunned by those who don’t believe in religious texts forbidding it.
*polyfidelity/faithful (polyamorous group marriage/relationship where all are faithful to each other—Ménage à trios, a relationship or domestic arrangement in which three people share a sexual/romantic relationship, fits under this)
*polygany (man with multiple wives/women)
*polyandry (woman with multiple husbands/men)
- Does God “control the events of the world?” If G-d created this reality, is that the control referred to or does “He” hand drip every single rain drop?
- How can God love peace? The Old Testament seems to suggest that He doesn’t.
- Is God perfect or imperfect (and why do people argue that if He exists, then He must be perfect)?
+ NKJV 1 Corinthians 1:25 “Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”
+ What is perfection? Can you have a weakness (or be foolish) and still be perfect? Does God have a weakness or have any foolishness?
- Should politics be mixed with religion? God seemed to encourage it in the OT (kill the inhabitants of the land because they “aren’t My children/don’t follow Me,” then take over the land and live in it—me paraphrasing what seems like lots of instances).
- Is the true G-d the one I see, or have I (and Christianity) created an image of Him that is more agreeable to my/our liking?
- If Satan is real, does that automatically make God real?
+ My great-grandpa was an exorcist in Puerto Rico and many scary, real stories have been passed down.
+ A close family friend had a grandmother that was a witch doctor in Ghana, and she had scary, real stories about evil supernatural forces to share too.
- How can someone hear God and be certain it’s not just their subconscious?
- Is anything beyond agnosticism (attitude affirming the uncertainty of all claims to ultimate knowledge) truly possible?
- Why did G-d punish people for stupid stuff, like that poor guy who caught the Ark of the Covenant and was killed?
- If it is the heart of man that matters, why were extravagant places of worship required in the Old Testament?
- Speaking of which, why was any of that stuff in the Old Testament required?
So there’s a tiny peek into the mind of Hannah. Scary, I know. Please don’t get the wrong impression. I don’t not believe in God, I simply want to explore what my faith has been founded on all these years.
I don’t want people to just tell me, I want proof. I want to read the texts, learn about historical background, context, intended audience, author and any other relevant information. I want to talk it out with nonjudgmental people.
Most of all, I don’t want my mom or dad stumbling on this information just yet. I’m bad at translating thoughts to words, and don’t feel like going through another “let’s hit Hannah over the head with these random Bible verses” session. I had enough of that over Thanksgiving break, thanks.
I really appreciate this post. You've come up with some extremely pertinent and intelligent questions. I hope you can find some answers and if you ever want to have a chat about many (or all!) of these questions, I would love that.
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