Origins (and I'm not talking the class)

Right now, I feel like crying. No particular reason, I'm just down and dissatisfied with life at Union. I'm sure it has nothing to do with reality, but instead my energy level. While the coffee is brewing to raise my mood, I'll post a happy happenstance that just happened (yeah, I just said that).

Brandon: You have a brother?!
Me: I'm the youngest of five kids. Lol, why are you so shocked?
Brandon: No one tells me anything. Haha, I always imagined you just appeared out of nowhere in the middle of some field surrounded by fairies and elves.

Best sentence I've "heard" (it was via facebook chat) all day.

Let's pull out the books

My (periodically updated) reading list
Last updated 23 Jan. 10

For pleasure

• On the Road by Jack Kerouac
  
• A mind of my own by Chris Costner Sizenmore
• Goddesses in every woman: a new psychology of women by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D
• Zen Training by Katsuki Sekida
• The Quran translated by M.H. Shakir
• Aimée & Jaguar: A Love Story, Berlin 1943 by Erica Fischer
  

Interesting assigned reading

• [Conflict and Peacemaking] The Irresistible Revolution: living as an ordinary radical by Shane Claiborne
  
• [World Literature] The Norton Anthology: Western Literature (currently: Tartuffe by Moliere) edited by Lawall, Thalmann, Patterson, James and Spacks
  

Needing to finish, but not currently reading

• Glancing fires edited by Lesley Saunders
  
• The collected poems of Audre Lorde
• The Pink Triangle by Richard Plant
• Do they hear you when you cry? by Fauziya Kassindja and Layli Miller Bashir
• Christianity and homosexuality: some Seventh-day Adventist perspectives edited by David Ferguson, Fritz Guy and David Larson
• Sexism and language edited by Alleen Pace Nilson, Haig Bosmajian, H. Lee Gershuny, Julia P. Stanley

Recently Read

• Watchmen by Alan Moore
• The City Who Fought by Anne McCaffrey and S.M. Stirling
  
• Sapphira and the slave girl by Willa Cather
• Paradise by Toni Morrison
• Caramelo by Sandra Cisneros
• The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston
• American Indian Stories by Zitkala-Sa
• Background readings for teachers American literature edited by Venetria K. Patton
• The rhetorical power of popular culture: considering mediated texts by Deanna D. Sellnow
• Nonviolence: the history of a dangerous idea by Mark Kurlansky with forward by His Holiness the Dalai Lama 
• The Norton Anthology: Western Literature (selections: Tartuffe by Moliere, A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift, Emile by Jean-Jacque Rousseau, part of A Letter to the Women of England, on the Injustice of Mental Subordination by Mary Robinson, An Essay on Man by Alexander Pope) edited by Lawall, Thalmann, Patterson, James and Spacks

Tell me your story (or at least leave some words at the door)

I was creeping on my friend Michael's list of blogs he follows, and fell across Write In My Journal.

"I approach people who look interesting – like they have a story to tell – and ask them if they, knowing they’ll most likely never see me again, will write in my journal.

They’re free to write whatever they want. I may give them a prompt to start but ultimately it’s up to them.

There are so many people out there with such diverse backgrounds and perspectives! It’s absolutely fascinating to me. Have you ever looked at a person and thought, “I wonder what their story is? How did they get to where they are? What are their dreams?” I do. All the time. (Is that weird?) This is my chance to get to know some of them, even if it’s just a glimpse, and share their stories that would otherwise go untold."

It's fascinating. I wish I could do that here in Lincoln, but don't want to be an idea thief.

I was twenty (and I don't even know you)

Nineteen
by Tegan and Sara

I felt you in my legs
Before I even met you
And when I layed beside you
For the first time
I told you
I feel you in my heart,
And I don't even know you
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
I was nineteen
(call me)
I felt you in my life
Before I ever thought to
Felt the need to lay down
Beside you
And tell you I feel you in my heart,
And I don't even know you
And now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
I was nineteen
(call me)
I was nineteen
(call me)
Flew home,
Back to where we met
Stayed inside I was so upset
I cooked up a plan,
So good except
I was all alone
You were all I had
Love you
You were all mine
Love me
I was yours right
I was yours right
I was nineteen
(call me)
I was nineteen
(call me)

What do you see?

Images: in your face, at the barely-visible end of your peripheral, behind you, inside your mind. You don't need to be visually-oriented like I am to figure out that the world is pretty much a 5-course meal for your eyes.

In Rhetoric class, we're learning about the persuasive power of images (often mixed with words). While it may seem like a no-brainer, it's often the obvious, taken-for-granted concepts we ignore rather than carefully consider.

Of course, me being me, I love to consider things--roll them softly along grey coils, spin them till up and down are only intangible concepts, taste the strands of truth slowly unraveling, feel the explosion of understanding in the tips of my toes, bask in the stillness after thundering enlightenment (the stillness crying out that I still know nothing for certain).

I love to consider things. Words and images are pretty powerful entities, throwing me in a whirlwind of thought whether I'm ready for it or not.

An advertisement stole my mind yesterday. For our class investigation into the persuasiveness of images, we focused on pages found in outdated publications. I don't know what magazine the particular advertisement was from (my friend Sierra was originally looking at it) or how it relates to the product or service being sold (I think it's for a computer company).

However, it did succeed at causing me to question that "silly" decision to stop smoking. I'll upload the image later, but here's a taste.

Image: Sensual woman with a burning cigarette between her teeth.

Text:
_____________________________
some people say
that we should go through life
with our eyes wide open
those people will never see what i see
they will never experience
the joy of sitting in the dark
a darkness that gives birth do ideas.
when imagination
mingles with inspiration.
it is then that you realize
that darkness is not unlike
a blank canvas.
anything is possible
_____________________________

Today marks Day 9 of my smokeless journey. I wonder why I quit buying lovely Crushes and want to cave for artistic reasons. I haven't tried writing a poem yet without my dependable "sin stick." What if I can't do it? What's so great about keeping my eyes open to a distant, potentially cancerous reality when the world dancing in my head looks so much prettier? I cannot see death, but I can see poetry formed from waves of smoke. Dammit.

I need to remember that:
-Smoke isn't just killing me, production is also injuring the planet
-Creativity is not ignited by flames but by soul
-Frivolous outside stimuli (images) should not dictate my decisions (I can be persuasive back)
-Um, it's BAD for me--don't do it...

I will keep my eyes open to see Day 10.

Have you seen my Satori anywhere? I can't seem to find it...

Yay for Ortner Center computers and not noticing the "Please limit your time at the computers to 10 min." sign. Oops.

I started a new blog called Cosmic Enlightenment, which is centered around my spiritual journey: http://cosmicsatori.blogspot.com/

We'll see where it goes, and how that path will influence this blog. Maybe it won't.

I should probably get off this computer before campus security comes after me. Ha. Okay, maybe we should go with realistic scenerios. I better get off this computer before I waste any more time online.

Dead computers, vibrant life.

My computer has finally refused to charge. It's been on the brink (I had to twist and hold the cord to make it work) for a while, and now finally plunged into the "goodbye-for-now-laptop" arena.

Completely unrelated (or is it?):

Lately I've been thinking "I want to live simply, but not simply live."

My computer's about to die. This may be the end of blogging for a while.