La-di-dah.

I was not looking forward to my 3 o'clock guitar lesson today--scratch that, I was dreading it.

These once per week guitar lessons sounded exciting when my adviser first explained how they could fulfill needed credit hours. After the first lesson, I remained stoked and eager to practice. For all of one day.

Two Sundays ago I showed up at my teacher's door and explained that I hadn't practiced at all the past week (and I was very, very sorry). He complimented me on my courage for admitting that, and said we could forget this class period and just meet next week.

3:30 a.m. the following Friday, I sat waiting in the dorm f0r my flight to Wisconsin (congratulations big brother on the wedding). I realized I hadn't practiced AT ALL (again) and so played for about a half an hour.

Sunday morning I flew back to Nebraska, exhausted from a weekend with the family and little sleep. At noon, I gave Brennan my guitar to switch out strings and took a nap. Naturally, I missed my 3 p.m. guitar lesson and didn't wake up till evening. Go me. I either slept through the alarm or forgot to set it in the first place.

Today, I started to freak out as I realized this was week three of not practicing. Sure, I went over to the music department a half an hour before my lesson to try and figure out what the heck these notes on frets were all about--but I was supposed to be doing that a half hour each day not a single time just before the lesson. I debated checking the calendar and seeing if I could drop the single-credit "class." How was I going to make it through this awkward upcoming class period, much less catch up from the three weeks I hadn't been practicing?

What was my teacher going to say about a) missing class last week (and so not having a lesson in over two weeks) and b) my obvious lack of practicing?

I stuffed my nerves somewhere deep inside where they couldn't show, and began to play. So far so good.

"Do you find this too easy?" my teacher asked.

I shrugged, and flipped some pages. "It get's harder over here," I pointed.

He laughed, and flipped past chapter after chapter. Finally, he found what he was looking for near the middle of the book and began playing.

It sounded like real music! Not like the boring la-la-la crap from the beginning sections. Even better, he wants me to try playing it (even though I haven't even learned all the notes for it yet) because apparently the other stuff "wasn't challenging enough."

I got giddy all the way down to my toe tips. Who doesn't like to feel special or feel like you've actually got talent? After everything that went down last night, I really needed this boost. It's helping me be more optimistic about not only the guitar lessons (I guess I won't be dropping them), but all the other homework and classes I'm either behind in or simply working hard to just stay afloat.

This last week I was distracted with C, and let some stuff slide. I think maybe I'm meant to be single--at least right now. I feel more centered. And maybe even a bit musical.