Unedited editorial I wrote last semester

A rush of hot water pours through my fingers—each tiny droplet tingling on fresh skin. How can I start? I glance up at the bathroom mirror, palms still thrust beneath the luxurious flow of liquid. Somber green eyes gaze back from the reflection on the wall. What can I say that will make people care? How do I show them that the world is full of hurt they can help fix?

I think about all the teens that will commit suicide because someone threw out hateful words (such as the socially acceptable “fag” and “that’s gay.” Suicide rates for gay teens are four times that of their straight peers).

I think about the Middle Eastern immigrants and descendents who are subject to harsh prejudice (One boy’s father was shot buying groceries because someone thought he “looked like a terrorist”).

I think about the silent victims of abuse and rape—can we teach you to scream? Can we help you speak out against what’s been done to you and aid in prevention?

I think about the countries suffering from water-shortages, where children pass on a cup of water because “it’s not their day to have a drink.” How much water do we waste? How much water do I waste?

My reverie ends as I glace down to soaked hands; eyebrows lift. Quickly, I shut off the water. How will you start?

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can.”
-Sydney Smith

www.tomsshoes.com

I saw an amazing documentary today that almost made me cry. I ordered two copies so I can send one to my parents.

Today was fantastic. Not because of anything in particular (although Anyone and Everyone was amazing). I just woke up happy. Now I'm listening to Anais Mitchell and wasting time trying to upload pictures to myspace and facebook.

Speaking of pictures, here are the TOMS photos I promised a few blogs ago.

The Million You Never Made*

Today I did nothing. Woke up late, ate at Grateful Bread, went to Open Harvest, spent too much time sitting at Meadowlark with Sierra.

It was lovely... and terrible. You can tell it's almost February, my not-new-year-resolutions are waning. I'm starting to suck at life again. I have so much due tomorrow/this week. Case statement, reading guides, article for work, article for Lifeglow, CT stuff, graphic arts stuff, student missionary package 1. I haven't been using my schedule book. I don't know if that was my first step down into mayhem, or MLK day weekend.

No more fun for me, I'm putting on my business face. But nothing is so wonderful, beautiful and spirits-lifting. Why can't I keep nothing and still get everything accomplished? If only I could multi task laziness and productivity.

*Ani DiFranco song title

(--<)

Life has been kind nutso lately. By nutso, I mean stressful and oddly depressing. Not so much right now :-)

I saw I'm Not There for the first time. Mother freaking incredible. Bob Dylan? Yes, please. So many times I wanted to freeze the movie and drop the picture on my wall. Next, Sierra and I watched Across the Universe. By itself, AtU is fantastic. Be a bit off, and it's kind of--eyegasm mixed with eargasm? Afterward, Sierra and I had another one of our epic conversations. I miss hanging out with her and talking about things so candidly. Crazy things. Taboo. Nothing. Everything. What is. What isn't. What could be. Fluidity. Transperancy.

Ideas, theories and contemplations are better than chocolate. Open mindedness should be only a step down from air.

Where the hell are all the people that agree with that?

Kate Nash would describe this as "merry | very, very happy"

I couldn't seem to the shake the smile that followed my face around all day. And why would I want to? There's a fantastic new President kicking it in the White House, and the inauguration ceremony was beautiful. The prayers (national political event, anyone?) did toss me through a loop--but I'm used to diving past them. President Obama. How could I not love a man that talks about respecting the environment and doing our part to ease the intense suffering of others?

"The only thing that could make this day better is if we had blue skies," I told Scott. A few hours later the gray disappeared to match my mood. "You should have wished for world peace," he said.

Maybe I should have. I think we may have finally found the right road, though, so I'll forgo wishes today and just continue playing hide and seek with my grin.

"Girl put that record on, play my favorite song" (or something like that)

Despite having a very lovely day downtown with Michael (Chipotle, The Spindle, A Novel Idea, The Black Market/The Public, and Meadowlark. Yay!), I have three major complaints right now.

1) The "Love is Blue: Great Songs of the '60s" record set I bought today from The Spindle contains some fantastic songs (Ode to Billie Joe, for example). Unfortunately, it only contains the music from those songs. No fun words about jumping off the Tallahatchie bridge :-(

2) LIGHTS! I'm not asking for a camera or even action (welllll), but can't we do something about these bright ceiling fixtures? The kitchen and the laundry rooms' lights are always being left on. To what point and purpose? I mean, besides to annoy me and waste lots of energy of course.

Haha, actually it doesn't even make me mad--I'm just in a ranting mood for some reason. It does kind of bother me in a "I wish people realized how much they could do just by flipping the switch" way, but not so much in an "arrrrg" way.

3) I don't remember. It must not be that important (not that anything I ever write about is important though). Oh yeahh, that everything (and by everything, I mean Bread & Cup) is closed on Sundays.

Okay, enough ranting. I'm actually in a good mood so I'll gush instead. Three current non-complaints:

1) Even though the records I forked out my measly moneys for have no words, the music is very relaxing. I like it.

2) Meeting new people is fantastic! So remember that hot guy I mentioned in my last post? I officially met him today when Michael and I stopped by The Public (which is inside The Black Market). Now it's official that we're friends--facebook told me so. He's freaking rad (even if he does have a fiance, lol)! The world needs more radtastic people who have (veggie) sushi on Sundays :-p I also met a lady (a regular at Meadowlark) who is going to teach me to crochet :-)

3) I think I'm going to TRY to make a shoulderbag out of TOMS flags. I'm not sure how well that will work. I'm hoping Jesse will let me kife some out some TOMS boxes, otherwise I doubt two flags will go very far.

"I believe in days ahead"

Tonight has been the best I've had in a long time. I feel so at peace with myself and, to be incredibly cliched, the world.

It began with a trip to The Black Market with Kaley, Brennan and Josh. I finally got my pair of vegan (no leather insoles) TOMS shoes :-) I also bought Kaley a pair as her long-promised Christmas present. The guy that helped us out was extremely good looking in that unique-style way. Kaley thought he might be gay. I didn't get much of a fem vibe, but she said she did. Then she said maybe he's bi, and of course I grew excited. Maybe there's half a chance ;-) I wish there were more people that wanted to make a difference in the world (he was all stoked about TOMS and stuff. Each time you purchase a pair of TOMS, they donate a pair to children who don't have any shoes).

We went to Old Chicago from there (mmm pizza. We ordered half without cheese. I'm trying very hard to go vegan, but I'm not sure how well I'm doing). Ashley, Erich and Megan joined us at the end.

Crescent Moon, two doors down, was next. The place was packed due to the weekly live jazz performance. We wound up at a table and played card games till 11. I learned how to play indian poker, and how to lose lots of chocolate pieces by betting it all at the wrong times. It was a blast :-) I haven't played games or just hung out with people like this in such a long time (it feels like).

I also may have found a apartment-mate for the summer! We'll see if Brennan was serious or not.

When we got back to Union, Kaley convinced me to go down to the park with her (Megan ended up tagging a long). Haha we actually drove, so I stayed relatively warm. Got ride of some of my blacks. Felt utterly content. At peace.

All in all, I've had a lovely evening. I'm sitting here in my organic cotton nightshirt listening to Scissor Sisters (new musical love affair) and talking to an old best friend about stupid drama. The great thing, is I've decided to stop allowing my emotions play into it. I'm the one letting myself be negatively affected by things going on. I've also realized just because some people don't appreciate my insides, doesn't mean they're not pretty.

Tomorrow morning, I'll wake up and go to a favorite location: New Creation. Despite my views on things god-related, the community, atmosphere and thoughts prompted from the experience have transformed the place into my very own weekly heaven.

[[I'll post a picture of my new shoes soon. They are lovely. Plus I bought bamboo socks. Mmmm, comfort.]]

*Title taken from "Mary" lyrics by Scissor Sisters