Science and Buddhism/Meditation

 I found this excerpt about an article dealing with the interactions of the right and left side of the brain on The Buddhist Blog:

Enlightenment has been described in many ways, but what is common to most descriptions of enlightenment is a change in the sense of ‘self,’ and a sensation of a release from suffering. An enlightened person is said to no longer identify with herself as the individual she once was. She is also said to no longer experience negative thoughts.

Our feeling part of our Self is located in the limbic system, in this case the amygdala. In most people, the left side feels pleasure or positive emotions, and the right side experiences negative emotions. In each case, the right (positive) and left (negative) components are synaptically ‘wired’ to each other. Thoughts and emotions are communicated back and forth between both sides of the the brain along the synapses. Now here is where meditation impacts these processes. Most meditative practices involve techniques to de-emphasize, defuse or reduce negative thoughts. Over the long term, what this means in the brain is that the transmission of electrical impulses into both the right side (negative) of both the amygdala and hippocampus is reduced. Fewer negative feelings and thoughts, less activity along those pathways.

Published studies support the idea that long term meditation works by ‘starving’ the brain of negative emotions and expectations. So meditation not only trains us not to respond as intensely and frequently to negative thoughts and emotions, it also causes an ‘atrophying’ of our brain’s ability to process those thoughts and emotions. But the caveat here, is that it takes a lot of consistent practice over the long term.

And the evening and the morning were the first day.

Yesterday I was pretty down, blue, whatever word fits best. It may have been left over emotional residue from the night before. It probably had a lot to do with my energy level. I drank coffee for the first time in a long while, thinking it would give me both a boost in terms of energy and happiness. It didn't. I sort of gave up hopes of not feeling utterly cheerless.

Before I went to bed, I decided to pull out a small book of Zen quotes. I wrote these on my mirrors:

"The blue mountain bordering the sea does not move, but the mind of the bird over the waves breaks free and follows the course of the river." -Master Daishi
I love the reminder that it's not physical location, surroundings or circumstances that matters or creates freedom--it's mindset.

"What was your face before the birth of your parents?" -Koan

Then I meditated. Sitting there in the darkness, a series of thoughts flashed through my mind as I watched. "Listen to the stories of the universe." I wrote that on my mirror too. I'm not very good at listening. I'm good at talking, but not skilled. I just tend to interrupt, speak out, respond to questions not directed at me, etc quite a bit. I don't mean to, or think about it, but it just seems to flow out of me (particularly when I have energy). I wonder at times how other people can stand me at all. My goal today is to create love and touch existence by listening to it. Whether its classmates, playful squirrels, friends, weather patterns--I just want to pay attention. Marvel. Appreciate. Understand, not speak. That doesn't mean I'm going to be mute all day, or even remember to pay attention. It just means today I'll be putting in extra effort.

By the end of meditation last night, and after a cup of soothing tea, I felt amazing. At peace. Happy. Content. Different. I woke this morning ready to listen.

oohhhmm

I just finished meditating--something that's a lot harder than it sounds. The even breathing I can do. Imagining a flame and focusing on the top point of that flame isn't so hard to do. It's the whole "eyes-half-closed" that I struggle with.

Five years (two years, one year) ago I wouldn't have even considered meditating. My best friend from home is here to visit, and I've come to realize how much I've changed in--well, even just the past year.

Before, I obsessed over snowboarding and everything that entailed. Now, I've realized there's a world beyond snow-capped mountains. And this new world suucks :-( So many people are suffering, and I just want to make it stop (or at least make them not hurt as much). I want to live in harmony with the myself, nature, and other people.

I was in the mall today and just felt completely overwhelmed by a) the ridiculousness of the value we place on name-brand, new items b) the clones that make up humanity. I'm so tired of meeting people who conform for the sake of conforming, or try so hard not to conform for the sake of not conforming. Nobody is original, no matter how much we delude ourselves into thinking we are. Nobody lives to simply exist, or wears clothes because they just love how it feels. We're all just so caught up in this image that society feeds us from birth--binary: sexes, orientations, styles, religious views (god or no god), genders, relationships (monogamous or nonmonogamous, platonic or romantic), etc. We care so much about the aesthetic sort of things and not enough about anything else--you know, like people being tortured or the way we're slowly murdering Mother Earth? Thoughts on what reality is, or maybe just thoughts in general? I'm not saying I'm immune. I'm just saying I hate the fact that this is how pathetic we are, pathetic and plastic. How pathetic and plastic I am.

Wow, I need to stop ranting (especially because it probably doesn't even make sense). I think it just boils down to being lonely. I've found how to be at peace with myself, and in turn with the world, but then out of the blue I'll get hit with a tsunami wave of feeling disconnected. Tonight I was in a room full of people, and felt more lonely than I had all day. For once, I'd like to talk about more than Johnny Depp, the weather, or difficult classes. But maybe it's just a matter of priorities and interests, of which mine differ from most people at Union.

Belinda (my friend from home) and I, it seems, barely have anything in common anymore (besides nerdy TV shows). Sure, it's fun to hang out. If we were meeting for the first time, though, I doubt we'd be very tight. There are no deep conversations, common thoughts on impacting the future, shared musical or fashion styles, etc. It's not even that tho--I've just forgotten how she puts me down in front of everyone else (Yes, I realize how much of a Jew nose I have. No, I don't suck at everything I try to do). I used to laugh, and make fun of myself too--but now, I don't. Or maybe I do, but it's just weird now when she does it instead of natural.

I don't even know what I'm trying to say. In short, hanging out with Belinda has made me realize how much I've changed since high school. I'm not really interested in going back--back to ignorant, shallow, and uncaring. I love the place I'm at now, with coffee shop/art galleries/second hand store adventures (yay for this week!). I just wish someone would come a long and enjoy these adventures with me--someone who will break the freaking box open instead of sleeping in it, someone who will fuck society's definitions and binary system of existing.

Or at least someone that would just meditate with me.